Squidwrad Is Never Allowed in This Lodge Again

Dorsum

Cephalopod Lodge

Typed By: ssj4gogita4

(at Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: Workin' at the Krusty Krab! Workin' at the Krusty Krab! La, la, la! Ooh! (sees Squidward grin) Squidward? Squidward? (snaps fingers four times) Squidward, are you okay?
Squidward: Hmm? Oh! I couldn't exist better!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! It happened again, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about?
SpongeBob: It's Squidward. What is it about the 3rd Wednesday of every calendar month that makes Squidward then happy?
Roger: Psst, Squidward?
Squidward: Roger, is that yous?
Mysterious man: This night's the big nighttime. (Squidward gasps. Cut to later at night)
SpongeBob: These camouflage outfits should help us find out what Squidward's cloak-and-dagger Wednesday secret is! (SpongeBob & Patrick giggle. Squidward tip toes out of his firm and SpongeBob and Patrick follow him to the jitney stop. The bus drops him off at a pyramid building)
Squidward: Hello, Brother Roger. (they do secret handshake)
Roger: Come right in, Brother Squidward.
Squidward: Thank you. (all the other squids are in crimson robes and talking to each other) Ah. This nearly makes the other 353 days worth living for. (gong chimes)
Leader: For centuries, cephalopods have had but one nemesis. Let he among you who wishes to bring together the club face your greatest fright-- Cantankerous moray-eelious! (everyone gasps)
Albino Eel: Huh? (sighs. A order member comes up to the eel)
Squidward: I'll never forget my initiation ceremony. (the eel stings the new member on the forehead. A hat is put on him afterwards and everyone claps)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Yeah! Mode to go! (everyone gasps)
Squidward: SpongeBob, Patrick! Did you follow me hither?
Leader: Brother Squidward...! For thousands of years no outsiders have witnessed this sacred initiation. You lot have desecrated the sanctity of this gild.
Squidward: But, merely, I-I-I-I... (Squidward & SpongeBob go kicked out of the gild)
Squidward: Oh, I can't believe it. They kicked me out of the Cephalapod Lodge.
SpongeBob: Exercise we get to bring together the lodge?
Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?
SpongeBob: (gasps) How did y'all know?
Squidward: Psychic powers. Hey, where's Patrick?
SpongeBob: Perhaps he got to join the society. (Patrick falls on elevation of Squidward) Or mayhap non. They didn't let y'all join either?
Patrick: No. I establish the institution had zippo of to offer me. I was stagnating.
SpongeBob: Hey, where'due south Squidward?
Patrick: Concord on. (shakes right leg and so left leg. Squidward's head pops out) Found Squidward. (pulls Squidward out and puts his chapeau on top of his caput)
Squidward: The last thing in my life I really enjoyed. Then SpongeBob ruined information technology, likewise.
Patrick: At least you still have the hat.
Squidward: Yeah. I do, don't I?
Roger: Ahem. (takes Squidward'southward hat)
SpongeBob: You even so have your robes. (Roger takes Squidward'due south robe)
Patrick: You lot still have your underwear. (Roger takes Squidward's underwear. Squidward screams. SpongeBob covers his and Patrick'due south optics)
Squidward: (pulls on his brown shirt) You lot can look now.
SpongeBob: Don't you worry, Squidward. I'1000 sure if Patrick and I just explicate what happened, they're sure to allow you dorsum in. (SpongeBob knocks on the lodge door)
Roger: What is information technology? Oh, it's you ii.
SpongeBob: We but came to explain that Squidward had no idea that we followed him to the lodge. And so, it's not his fault.
Patrick: Yeah, not his mistake.
Roger: Then whose mistake was information technology?
Patrick: Is it my fault?
SpongeBob: No, it wasn't your fault, Patrick.
Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. And it wasn't your error either.
Roger: Well, if information technology wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Squidward's fault, whose fault was it?
Patrick: Uh...possibly it's your fault.
Roger: Squidward is never immune in this lodge again! (closes door)
Squidward: SpongeBob, are they letting me back in the lodge?
SpongeBob: No. Y'all can't set foot in the lodge.
Patrick: E'er!
Squidward: Oh. At present that you two have ruined the last skillful thing in my life, I think I'll go slam my head in the door-- repeatedly.
SpongeBob: Squidward, look. I'm sorry we got you kicked out of your order. Is in that location anything I tin can do to make it upward to y'all?
Squidward: No! Why didn't you lot simply brand up your own dumb club, instead of ruining mine?
SpongeBob: That's information technology! (jumps on Squidward) Squidward, we'll make our own club! And it'll be so much meliorate than that dumb one-time Cephla-flafla-pod-lod Lodge! And you tin can be our leader. How great does that audio, oh might one? Wanna bring together our club, Patrick?
Patrick: Dog-pile on Squidward! (Squidward screams. Cut to them walking up to Squidward's firm)
SpongeBob: Squidward, you're the order skilful. What do we do get-go?
Squidward: Say skillful-bye. (enters his house and slams door)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Good-bye.
Squidward: Morons.
SpongeBob: (climbs in through one of Squidward's windows) Then anyhow, Squidward, I was thinking, we should be working on our secret lodge initiation.
Patrick: (falls through the window) Hey.
SpongeBob: Patrick and I have come up with a surreptitious handshake.
Patrick: Secret.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Patty cake, patty cake, sailor man! Bake me a cake every bit fast...
Squidward: SpongeBob! That's not a secret handshake. Everybody knows "Patty Cake."
SpongeBob: Non the way we practice it.
Patrick: We don't apply our pinkies.
Squidward: (pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house) Out!
Patrick: I don't think Squidward wants to join our club.
SpongeBob: Oh, certain he does. He just needs a little button. (a knock on Squidward's door)
Squidward: Oh, what at present? I'm coming. What practise y'all...? Swell. Must be one of SpongeBob's pranks. (a bag is thrown over Squidward and and so tied upwardly) =
SpongeBob: Let's motion. (SpongeBob and Patrick conduct the bag to Jellyfish Fields) Okay, we can permit him out now.
Squidward: Are you insane? Y'all kidnapped me?
SpongeBob: No, nosotros didn't kidnap yous. We only brought you hither for...
Patrick: Initiation.
Squidward: What-what kind of initiation?
SpongeBob: A very special initiation. (pulls a jellyfish out)
Squidward: Oh, boy, await at the time. Gotta run. (Patrick pushes Squidward's head down to the ground to make him sit)
SpongeBob: Would you care to go first, Brother Patrick?
Patrick: After you lot, Brother SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: (flicks the jellyfish and stings his natural language with it) Ow! (deadened) Brother Patrick.
Patrick: Brother SpongeBob. (slaps the jellyfish and gets stung on his tongue. He screams and hands the jellyfish to Squidward) Brother Squidward. (pulls Squidward'southward tongue and puts the jellyfish on it. Squidward screams and jumps into the air. Cut to next morning at Squidward's house. At that place'south a knock on Squidward's door)
Squidward: What's this? Can it exist? My lodge robes! I'm back in the society! I gotta try 'em on. (comes out in a chicken suit) Huh? This can't be right. These aren't my cephalopod robes. (SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing because they are in craven suits, likewise)
SpongeBob: They sure aren't. They're your compatible for your new club. Welcome to the first official meeting of...The Plume Friends.
Squidward: Feather Friends?
SpongeBob: Somebody already had Feather Buddies.
Patrick: Yes, those Feather Buddies better hope they don't run into united states of america in a night alley.
Squidward: (sputtering. Rips his craven suit in half) Aw! I don't want to exist a Feather Buddy!
SpongeBob: Practice you lot still wanna exist a Plume Friend?
Squidward: (groans) No.
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, I hadn't realized how special your society was to yous. I'll get you back in that gild and I know just how to do it. (takes off his chicken suit) Everything we need is in this drawer. (takes out a sock)
Squidward: A sock?
SpongeBob: Not just a sock...a disguise. Patrick and I will climb inside the sock and pretend to be a giant albino eel. We will so gain entrance to the guild and affright everyone inside. One time they're good and terrified, yous Squidward will storm in, defeat that giant eel, and rescue all of the lodge members. You lot'll exist a hero, Squidward. They'll have to let y'all dorsum in the gild.
Patrick: Hmm, information technology's genius. But I see one flaw in your programme.
Squidward: One flaw?
Patrick: That sock is way too small-scale.
SpongeBob: Yeah, it is. Fourth dimension to break out the heavy artillery. (gets a behemothic sock)
Patrick: That's what I'grand talkin' about. (cut to night at the Lodge)
SpongeBob: (in the behemothic sock) Okay, Squidward. Just requite us five minutes and then practise your stuff. (SpongeBob and Patrick, both in the sock, walk towards the lodge)
Squidward: Hmm...
Narrator: v minutes later...
Squidward: (walks through the club doors) This is ridiculous. No one is dumb plenty to believe SpongeBob and Patrick are a...a giant albino eel?! (the club members are running from side to side, avoiding the giant sock, as SpongeBob and Patrick are roaring at them) Unbelievable.
Member: Squidward!
Roger: Look out!
Member #2: There'southward a behemothic albino eel on the loose!
Squidward: (clears pharynx) Do not worry. I volition save you. Be gone, foul beast, or, I will smite thee. (hits the sock twice with his fist)
SpongeBob and Patrick: Argh! Oof! (sock flattens and is defeated. All the lodge members cheer) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! (the robe and hat are put back on Squidward)
SpongeBob: (he and Patrick cheer) Mode to go, Squidward.
Patrick: It worked!
Squidward: Whoa, whoa...whoa! (the three get kicked out again)
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward, we nonetheless have the Plume Friends.
Patrick: Merely you'll accept to laissez passer the initiation over again. (screen fades to black equally Squidward gets his natural language stung past a jellyfish once more. Squidward screams)
End

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Source: https://www.sbmania.net/spongebob-transcripts-257-Cephalopod-Lodge